A few days ago both of mum’s legs were aching a lot, so she asked me to give her a quick massage before going to bed.
Now usually I’m so busy with revision and my dissertation that I barely get to talk to her, so it was the first time in a long time we talked. I actually forgot how nice a feeling it was to simply talk to her about trivial things.
After about a while mum spoke about nana (granddad). She said how when she was younger nana used to ask her to massage his legs for him too:
“I remember how dad used to always ask us to massage his legs for him. He always had this aching pain all over his legs from as far back as I can remember. He would say to not be gentle, but to punch his legs as hard as possible. But if that wasn’t enough then he would say sit on my legs to numb the pain. But if that wasn’t enough, then he would say to stand and dance on his legs.”
What struck the me most was what she said next:
“But I we would always quietly move away after a while once our hands became tired so we never waited till he told us to go. We were young so all we could think about was playing outside. We never ever thought about how much his legs must have been in pain.”
She silently began to cry tears of regret. Nana died 5 years ago.
I’m assuming those tears were tears of regret. That if she had the chance to sit by her father and massage his legs one more time, she would happily do till her hands became numb.
To live with such regret is horrible. ‘If I had one more chance…‘ is a popular phrase amongst people. But after that day I realised how it shouldn’t be that way with our parents, especially our mothers.
There is a hadith (saying of Muhammad (PBUH)) were he narrates:
“Heaven lies beneath your mother’s feet”
This reflects the high status of the mother and the level to which we need to love, honor and respect them. Regret is one of those things that eats away at you and I already have a lot of it in my life, but I hope that I never have this with mum. So long as she remains on this Earth is it my duty that I do everything I can to pleases her. So I have once again renewed the promise that I have so often in the past, and that is to love her like she deserves to be loved.
From this day onwards, I plan to pay more attention to her, listen to her, lighten her burden when I can and be the best daughter that I can be.
This is a reminder for myself as well as others.