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I’m the kind of person who finds its difficult to break out of order. Its hard to have to stop half way once I’ve started something because sometimes I don’t know what else to do. I am used to following a pattern or of thinking ‘I have to do his now or else‘. I also happen to be the kinda person that panics over small things. And I have the ability to make others panic with me or because of me.

So today was not the first day, by any means, but is definitely one of many other days where I have had to tell myself:

#Let it go Macena. Let it go#

FROZEN - Let It Go

Today I decided to work the other temporary job over the summer. My main concern was not having my holidayr to prepare for the PGCE ad publish the novella, Cairo Street. But I made the decision knowing I would have half of my summer gone so I had no choice but to accept that I would not be able to read all the books on my reading list O_O

This did break my heart a little. I felt like I had failed, even though I know I’ve been giving it my all to read non-stop. I guess in the end, it became a challenge and I was sad to have to bow out. But of course this doesn’t mean that I won’t keep trying to read from the list. It just means that I will be drinking a lot more coffee for the long nights ahead to get any reading done, and will be socialising even less with people. #OhWhatIsLife?

Day 12 - LuiAfter making the decision to work over summer I told mum and she was cool with it, only warning me about my health and stuff. I tried to tell Lui but he just shifted away from me as I got closer to his cage and his chest rose and fell quickly as he looked at me from the corner of his eye. My budgie is a funny one. He never directly looks at you. He will always turn his head away. It’s almost as if he’s sticking his beak up at you.

You would think after all the poop cleaning and feeding he would have bonded with us by now. But no. To him, we must all look like Sylvester.

Which reminds me: someone once asked if animals have to fast in Ramadan too =D

Just in case it wasn’t clear, they don’t! So whilst the rest of us fast, we can hear Lui chomping away on his seeds at least 15 times a day. Back to the point. I was telling a friend today how I can now only see her, or having any life other than work, on weekends once I start work again. And its strange how one choice changed my summer plans completely. But my new motto will come to my rescue in times of darkness.

Let-It-GoAnd its something that came in handy later in the day; dad decided to bring home a whole fish and spend hours gutting it to make fish kebabs. I know, it sounds super weird, but in fact it taste quite good. If the right fish is chosen, if its seasoned properly and cooked well, its like having meat kebabs. Finished product aside, the kitchen was in a bloody and scaly mess, literally! And the house stank of fish. So strong was the stench, that I could smell it all the way from upstairs and when I went down to check on dad, I felt like I had stepped into Sweeney Todd’s barber. Enough said! ¬.¬

Then dad left home and came back close to iftaar time to make the fish kebabs. This meant that the kitchen was busy with me trying to use the grill for my corn-on-the-cob, whilst dad was busy frying. We were both getting annoyed at each other and I was on the verge of explosion when it came to me: #Let it go Macena. Let it go#

So much so, that I knew my food would come out burnt. Fighting over the cooker and grill was just too much for me. In the end it tasted fine, but it looked like this:

Day 12 - My iftaar

Now I know it looks odd having the fruit decorate the same plate the corn is on, but that’s just how I roll. To me, food is food and if the flavours don’t offend each other, I don’t have a problem with things touching.

Now I really took my motto home when I indulged in dessert. This was me completely letting go! I’ve been the healthiest bean out of the bunch this Ramadan, but today I helped myself to a big bowl of ice-cream.

Day 12 - Ice cream

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