, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

To get to the point *takes deep breath* I failed the QTS maths skills test. Something I needed to pass in order to start the PGCE this year to become a teacher. The rule is that you need to pass both English and Maths tests to go onto start the course for Primary or Secondary teaching qualifications. But alas, I could not deal with numbers too well and failed all my attempts.

What does this mean now? Well, the road still lies ahead of me, I’ve just had to change course, that’s all! =D

In all honesty, I’m glad it’s over. I made many sacrifices and gave up a lot of my time to revise for this test. Sacrifices of my own and of others. My family where super supportive and gave me all the space I needed to study (although the summer break came and went with many disturbances) especially my brothers. The only people in the family who are actually good at maths and have degrees related to the subject. So on their part I feel quite bad; that I didn’t pass after all their effort, patience and encouragement. Only to them am I sorry. But for myself, I’m relieved it’s done. It took over 3 months of my life, mainly MY RAMADAN, SUMMER & SLEEP.

Of course it would have been great to pass. I mean, I did apply to this degree with the intention of doing it! And went to great lengths for it so that I could qualify as a teacher this year. If I had passed, things would be different. This blog post would be about how I’m happy about passing, about my fears of teaching, about the reading list I still have blah blah blah. But it’s not the case, however, I will continue to tell you about my painful journey to where I stand now;

maths test meme

I booked this maths test several times since I received the acceptance letter in January.

1) February: chose a Friday morning in the 1 week half term holiday, thinking I would  have time to revise and not have to think about work. But then mum went suddenly to Bangladesh and I had to babysit.

2) April: I thought great! Easter holiday. I’ll have plenty of time to do it. But lo and behold, I was surrounded by family bunking on every floor space feasible in the house, and so I had to push the date forward again.

3) June: work demanded a lot of time due to the exam period. And once again…

4) August (take 1): booked it for after Ramadan, and so I spent the entire month revising. But (and this is the really funny part!) I fell ill due to stress and had to miss the test O_O I’m such a ninny. So, 2 days before the test I was feverish, felt sick for 24hrs straight, couldn’t sleep…and, I simply couldn’t make it.

5) August (take 2): I was able to book the test that week but in a centre in Holburn. I did the test and failed. I was pretty broken 😦 So, to cheer myself up I went to China Town and did some grocery shopping 🙂 And luckily I had no time to be upset; I had to meet a friend because it was her birthday that day and then went to a friends evening wedding.

6) August (take 3): I had started work and so it was difficult revising anyway, but more so because I would return home late and too to do anything. So when I booked an evening test, thinking I could handle it, I was strongly advised against it and realised I should postpone it, yet again.

7) September (The End): my 7 year old nephew was round the day before with conjunctivitis in one eye. I, being the smart person that I am, touched his eye but didn’t wash my hands after. So on the day of the test, I woke up to find I too had conjunctivitis! O.O I had taken the morning off from work for the test and I didn’t want to change the date again. But thankfully, as the morning passed the swelling went down and it didn’t feel or look so bad. I went to a different test centre and there…I came out defeated! *hangs head*

In short, there have been many obstacles in my way to actually doing this test and so it’s almost been a sign, all along (perhaps) that it wasn’t meant to be. As Allah promises, what is yours will be yours, and what isn’t meant to be, will never be. But I take heart in the fact that (a) I’m better at my mental maths than I was in my GCSE days (b) I did my best and have no regrets (c) I know there is something out there better for me. As they say, one door closes…and you know the rest 🙂

I am looking through all my options at the moment, but my long overdue concern right now is my novella. The one I said I would publish by the end of 2014. For now, that’ll keep me busy. Some people have asked me what I’m reading, now that I no longer need to read the books from the PGCE reading list, but who said I would stop?! I will continue to read from the list and am happy to update my Goodreads feed with the books under the heading PGCE. These are amazing books and I genuinely want to read them all. But I’ll enjoy it more, seeing as there’s no race against time and stuff any more ^_^

My motto has always been:

The Big Red Mug

The Big Red Mug*