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Is anyone out there?
Those of us who suffer won’t admit
that we need help and we need it quick
it’s eating away at our mind and our health
i only hold it in coz of family and for wealth.
coz they don’t want a mad teacher or a mad doctor
but if its a starlet or your next door neighbour it doesn’t matter
but i’ll tell you a truth that no one talks about
it’s that we’re all sick inside and will be
till we get help. Reach out.
So I’m saying it now and I can’t be more clear
I need help from someone, anyone who’s near
soon I might not even want help and think it’s best to suffer
coz I’ve only always meant well and don’t like to burden others
You’re looking at me funny like I don’t know how to be happy
so you swat me away and say ‘Stop being negative’ but that aint helping.
Rolling your eyes and nodding your head
like i don’t know east from west
Oh wait, am I a burden now? Oh shoot I am.
I’ll just go back home and pretend it never happened
my kids want me to help them too, but its homework or colouring
but I aint gonna move a muscle coz i just don’t wanna
but then the socials will get involved and think I’m a bad parent
but really I love my kids and would tear out my heart for them
but there’s a tape in my head that keeps playing and playing
saying ‘I’m not worthy of anything, so call it quits’
Ok I’ll do it! I’ll wake up and follow old routines
wash, feed, clothe, pack, kids have to out by seven
and then i’m alone and the demons come back
but if i can’t see them, the rest of you sure can’t!
They’re like a shadow haunting me 24/7
but i fight the good fight, when i can, and pick
up my kids and hold them close coz they’re all i got,
my rock and my home.
But i still feel crazy, you know! like i’m gonna explode
yet I stop myself and know i’m a responsible adult with
children, a husband and a home. But still, still i feel so empty
I don’t know why. i don’t know why. and i don’t know for how long.
© 2015 Macena Chowdhury
Depression is a real issue. It cane come at someone like a tidal wave or strike them as a slight headache.
What usually might happen is that the person suffering will dismiss it. And if by chance they tell others about it, it often will be dismissed by them too. Why? Because the sentence ‘I’m depressed‘ is overused to the point that it’s simply associated with sadness or being miserable for a short period of time. But in fact a person who is clinically depressed can also have points of feeling extremely happy. However, the most common emotions are in the negative:
“Depression affects people in different ways and can cause a wide variety of symptoms. They range from lasting feelings of sadness and hopelessness, to losing interest in the things you used to enjoy and feeling very tearful. Many people with depression also have symptoms of anxiety.
There can be physical symptoms too, such as feeling constantly tired, sleeping badly, having no appetite or sex drive, and complaining of various aches and pains.
The severity of the symptoms can vary. At its mildest, you may simply feel persistently low in spirit, while at its most severe depression can make you feel suicidal and that life is no longer worth living.
Most people experience feelings of stress, sadness or anxiety during difficult times. A low mood may improve after a short time, rather than being a sign of depression.”
NHS website on advice for Clinical Depression. Page last reviewed: 19/08/2014.
Thankfully there is less of a taboo to discuss depression but that doesn’t mean people are aware of the gravity of their state or that they can seek help for what they’re feeling. No one wants to label themselves as being depressed, and no one wants to diagnose themselves. Even over the privacy of using Google to find quizzes diagnosing you or rating one’s level of depression.
Why I’m posting selectively about depression over schizophrenia or anxiety is because 1/4 people will experience some kind of mental health problem in the course of 1 year. and that is most commonly depression. I’ve come across too many people in my life who have admitted to me that they are depressed, but have not sought the necessary support. This is my way of getting people talking and hopefully reaching someone out there who feels trapped in their own thoughts.
Below are a set of useful links that I’ve looked and think can help support those who know someone suffering or who are suffering themselves:
SupportLine : has a great list of help lines to call regarding related issues to depression and for people living in either the UK, Scotland or N.Ireland
Moodjuice: A self-help printable style approach to support. But you’re given very detailed and theoretical/psychological explanations of depression but in plain English. They have worksheets that, to some, might seem childish. But often, the routes to healing are to write it out on paper to visibly see what you think. Worth taking a look at 🙂