2015, advice, bullying, childhood, Diaries, fath, fighting, food, friends, friendship, iftar, Islam, meals, mean boys, mean girls, Muslims, ramadan, Ramadan Diaries, religion, summer, sunset, sunsrise, youth
Suhur was interesting. Although dad isn’t fasting, he still gets up and helps set the table and heat the food for us. Plus, I realised my ramyun will go to waste so I had it for suhur. Yes it’s a hot soup dish, but all I had to do was prepare it at least 2 hours before I ate so it would be cool.
And due to staying awake for suhur for the past 2 days, I slept until 1pm! But as soon as I woke up I had to take mum to the dentist, so we got ready and went. Once we were done we were about to cross the road to get to the bus stop when I saw 2 boys fighting under it. They looked roughly 13 years old. The two were pushing and punching each other’s faces. A lady passing by near them yelled at them to stop but they continued. Then a man from inside his car on our side of the road yelled at them to stop being stupid and quit. Eventually, they did.
The ‘victim’ out of the two fighters looked more upset and was getting no support from the 3rd teenager who was standing by watching them fight. The same man who yelled at them to stop continued speaking to him:
Man: Why are you two fighting?
Boy: He cussed my dad
Man: You don’t need friends like that then
Boy: [boy looks back at the other two in silent anger and hurt]
Man: Why were you two being stupid [towards the other fighter and the 3rd boy]
Boys: Well he can’t take a joke man-
Man: It’s not a joke if he doesn’t find it funny, is it?!
Boys: [laugh a little and have nothing to say]
Man: [turning to the victim] You really don’t need friends like that, alright?
We had to catch the bus then so I don’t know what happened next.
This made me think back to my own childhood and how I’ve had my fair share of ‘friends’. The ones who use you, betray you, forget you and don’t bother to know you. And all it takes is a good friend to make you realise that you’re worth so much more than the crap others give you in the name of friendship.
Now I get it. With boys it might be more difficult. All that testosterone and trying to assert your masculinity and whatnot is a challenge. But often I’ve seen boys stick around with the boys that beat them, call them names, use them and frankly, just be scumbags. I guess to help you picture it, I’ll ask that you visualise Mean Girls, but without the hair and pink:
The incident today reminded me of how important it was that I kept good company. There came a point in my life I knew I was changing for the worse because of the so-called friends I kept around me. Even as I did or said things I felt out of sorts, but I still did them. Islam is a complete way of life, and we are even told how important our company is and how they can be for us or against us in life:
This Ramadan, let us also reflect upon who we keep around us. Practical changes are what makes this month really worthwhile and so it’s important for us to think about what we will do after. If you have that one family member who speaks ill of others, yet you still go round to see them, reflect upon what you’re doing to correct them and what harm they might be causing you by being around them. If you have that ‘friend’ who really isn’t a friend to you, think about telling them how you feel. And if they still remain as they are, drop them like yesterday’s rubbish because clearly they’ve been treating you that way anyway!
When I changed a little it wasn’t suddenly, but it was a result that happened over time. But as soon as I got rid of that company, I was myself again 🙂
Mistakes are made over and over again when we’re young, and we need to make sure we watch over our kids now who are going through it all. We can’t control their lives or stop them from making bad decisions. However, we can teach them to know path to go down. I had parents who built in me good morals and reminded me of how important my surroundings were to shaping who I would be. I never went to my parents or siblings for help, but by the grace of Allah I got through school troubles by myself.
I do hope this boy today doesn’t ‘make up’ with the other douche. But goes on to work on the friendships that are worth his while.