This week has been quite a roller coaster.
After teaching one of my favourite groups for the last time and not knowing this till I was told. Then with realising my university assignment deadline is creeping up but I attacked it so early on, I almost forgot it’s due next week. And that the feedback from my tutor was unclear, so unclear that I had to go into uni only for 45mins to sit down and speak to her about all my woes.
However, time has a way letting you think, rethink and keep thinking…till you’re no longer as bothered. My now reduced hours and new timetable for teaching has given me room to actually be able to take a breather.
I’ve been using the analogy this week, for those who have bothered to ask how I am, of my feeling like I’ve been drowning most of the time. But from Wednesday onwards I’ve felt I’m out of the water, can feel the surface beneath me, and stand still.
It was nice to have my previous students tell me they want me to teach them and that they’ll miss me. It means that I had some positive impact. But alas, it wasn’t meant to be. I am, I believe, a very practical and open person. If something personal I’m going through is too hard, I won’t always ask for help. But I can admit defeat, but to accept it isn’t part of realising I’m out of my depth, something I’m still learning to do.
Yet, I’ve been able to take some time off to think about it (although I was trying to plough through my assignment, I was at home all day Wednesday to be alone and think) and I’ve been able to accept my defeat.
So, I’m alright. Better than I was when I started teaching actually. I’ve gone through my first major dip in teaching and although it happened quite premature, I’ve been through a hurdle and come out living.
Today’s GCSE lesson went well. Better than I had expected. I’ve tried to arm myself with their names. Once you know names you can pick on them. Like today, I knew the name of the 2 sleepers (at the front as well!) which allowed me to poke and punish them for it.
I received a very positive feedback from my mentor and he mentioned how much more confident I looked and how I seemed, as the teacher, better engaged.
To what started off as a terrible week is now looking up ^_^